Relationship

More advanced practice, along exactly the same lines of self-development, but focusing on interection with others.

Study character, to differentiate good qualities and bad, in order to see the differences between people. Surround yourself with good company, as energy transfers easily, and the atmosphere in which you participate is part of yourself. Pay attention to the signs that follow good company.

Those who knowingly seek out goodness and intelligently avoid suffering and pain. They have love for everyone. Decent people never forget the kindness others extend, and are loyal.

Associate with those who have gone forward, and are stable in their achievement. Contact with them will assist you to bring out latent good qualities.

At the time, I only half-noticed, but I could feel a special energy from the serious attitude and calm abiding shown by three Thai monks journeying. The example they set was vital and refreshing, showing the way forward. Many masters made progress individually, practicing alone in solitude. Without understanding, vision, or clear goals, boredom may overtake you. But with clarity, focus, concentration and continued awareness, time may seem short, and your days well-utilized.

For the saint, both friends and enemies are one being. If anything, those who live in ignorance doing harm and speaking untruths need love and kindness more than most. For even though you were given a body, it is not yours, and no being is fit to judge and bring justice except the divine will. Rest assured justice will be given, in full measure, but do not seek it, nor bear ill-will, for it is not your place.

Feelings of connection, belonging, and relationship contribute to happiness and longevity. My way is connected with others, enjoying the movement and transmission of energy.

Good people enjoy working together in common cause, helping each other.

If you want to know who your friends are, speak the truth freely and act as you feel to naturally. Those people who stick with you are your family, and they won't act uncomfortably or ask you to leave.

Seek out small groups of intelligent people, actively pursuing merit and value in order to achieve their goals. Information and understanding is only as good as the benefit that it is used towards. Blessed is the peace-maker, to be honored above one who merely possesses great learning. So few have the gift of sight, which is needed by many souls.

Tölungpa taught:

Choose the disciplined teacher rather than the learned one.
Choose the faithful asistant, rather than the intelligent one.
Choose to associate with the humble rather than the high and mighty.

Take care in choosing associates at the beginning. Use comparison, interviewing, testing, and selection. To others, my strong reasoning and observation abilities may appear picky or of exacting standards. The real issue is that both sides are different, and it is my fault (not theirs), in that I didn't take the time and effort to screen myself from judgemental, more limited associates. For they are what they are, and what more can they be, but to see the world as they see it. Demanding that they be more than they are is not only foolish, but an attack on their being, naturally met with opposition in simple self-defence. Nobody likes to be insulted, or pushed beyond their limits. It's uncomfortable and wearying.

Even if you feel that you like someone, take time to determine whether that person will benefit from your association, and whether they in turn are a good influence on your own development. Friendships between people who disagree don't last long, nor are people happy among those who are too dissimilar to them in nature, behavior, or understanding.

If you want to know how much someone cares about you, just ask them for some money. Tell them your problems and what you worry about, and ask for their help.

Do not seek to be unique and superior to everyone else. We are all one being with many facets, so wish people to achieve and succeed equally, for they are yourself. Negative emotions will repeatedly challenge your equanimity. In fact, masters of old involved themselves in harmful situations as training exercises, just to see how well they would hold up.

BAD ASSOCIATION

Some unfortuante souls may harbor hostility, avoidance, or boredom and sleep reactions that are unrelated to yourself. They may carry these pent-up frustrations around with them, looking for an outlet. Do not oppose people, even if well-intentioned, as they may react poorly, being unready at that time to assimilate anything new or extra. People may feel quite full with what is already on their plate.

Independent
Dirty, Unkempt
Angry, Violent
Argumentative
Negative, depressed
Careless
Fearful, cowardly
Weak, Easily influenced
Unpolished, rough
Aggressive
Unkind
Selfish
Greedy, Cheap
Blabbermouth, talkative
Gossip

Be skillful in addressing strangers, as they may respond unexpectedly, given that people come in all character types and flavors. Don’t fall into the trap of sharing overly, being chatty, or being playful absent-mindedly, which can easily offend or annoy people. They may act out unexpectedly, hurting others' feelings. Don’t correct people, or try to educate people, unless they ask respectfully, especially in a foreign language where they may just see me as a fool. If you are able to bring charm to the front and center, then be charming to them. If not, be silent or avoid the encounter.

Always try to make a good impression, and if the emotional tone sours, or the encounter leaves your feeling drained, excuse yourself and depart. Don't get involved with harmful beings, for it is not your place. As an outsider, learn to keep silent or leave. If appropriate, cause them to receive feedback, but let it be from figures or people they can understand, or lastly, as an act of nature.

Do not get angry at them, or think to teach a lesson, but rather limit association after trying multiple times. Set a limit, a boundary, that you choose according to how much disruption you feel from their well-meaning attacks. If they mean harm and you feel negative intention, though, let once be enough, and get away immediately. Practice patience and kindness, especially in the face of abuse or suffering. A master earns respect by being able to accept abuse with a smile, feeling only compassion for the attacker.

Be careful not to form new associations in an off-hand manner, necessitating conversation and interaction, involvements in their world, when actually may prefer to practice singing, study teachings, work out in the gym, study Thai, get a massage, practice yoga, or play aerobics. Make a list of time-usage, and invite new friends to join, or make friends within those activities.

Become aware whether the people you are associating with are filling you with joy and contentment, or pulling energy from you, leaving you feeling sad, disappointed, and unappreciated. Some people will be kind and generous, patient and noble, giving of themselves. Other people will be unreasonable and argumentative, hostile and abrasive, attacking without reason or merit.

Perhaps foremost is that by surrounding yourself with associations that aren't supporting your progress, you hinder your development. If they are not supportive, at least let them not detract and denigrate. You pay a price in psychic antagonism. Meaning well, they may counter challenge with defense, which is natural but still unfortunate. Many will not see, will not agree, for who would sacrifice self, and what would remain to them having done so? And not just self, but sense perception as well.

People in general are emotionally immature, and quite reactionary. If look at the immediacy with which people escalate, right into hateful speech, it doesn’t take much imagination to envision a rapid deterioration over heart-felt, emotionally charged issues, and perceived dislikes and imagined injuries.

Unlikely that insensitive, self-directed people can hear or notice themselves well. Although they may in fact be kind and good, thoughtful people, they may lack some of the basic tools for current progress, such as awareness, and concentration. Rather than repeatedly pointing out this to them, both frustrating yourself (at their repetitive lack of perceptivity) as well as them (for your light bothering them repeatedly). They may misunderstand, or interpret correction as attack or limitation, and get annoyed or defensive.

Unskillful or inattentive people can casually make destructive or cursing statements, without being very aware of what they are doing or saying. Try not to judge them so harshly, nor give them so much credit for creative powers. Just because some idiot says a curse statement or is full of harmful, wrong-saying words does not mean the universe immediately responds as if a master had spoken or delivered a spell (not that any realized master would be so careless or ill-natured to wish to deliver harm).

Criticized and attacked by bad individuals possessed by ignorance, anger, or unwillingness to obey, one must soon cut attachment to such a place or persons. Vindictive, biased people constantly try to provoke dissension and argument among others. One must always guard against being led into spiteful and unredeeming friendships. Count your losses and just get away.

There are those who may make unreasonable demands of you, expecting you to put everything aside and meet their needs, being dissatisfied no matter how hard you try or how much you give. They may criticize you for not completing tasks according to their standards, and expect you to share their opinions.

Take note of abusive behavior, and don't just let it slide. Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. Don't get angry or nervous in response. If people do things or say things you do not like, warn them to stop, and if they are insensitive or argumentative, walk or even run away if necessary. Don't remain in the situation, and don't continue to engage them nor become upset, as trouble-makers seek attention and may delight in making a scene, where they may embarrass their opponent.

Give ignorant or abusive people distance, and if in a relationship, temporary silence and space to cool down, and end the association if they are unable or unwilling to try to change. Some unfortunate people are seeking to harm others or are ignorant, seeking any emotional response for drama or to make themselves feel better and will continue to attack. they are unreasonable and may be impolite or worse, evil. Take action, and don't continue to engage them. Your time and peace of mind are valuable, and you must protect yourself from bad influences or harmful interactions.

People who do harm are not necessarily evil, as they have a complicated series of events and experience, compounded by their level of awareness and ability. They will be different and divergent from yourself, so be patient and kind to them in their ignorance and even antagonism (unto anger, hostility, deceit, conspiracy and finally violence). For they will not accept truth nor education, and in the short-term, may be reasonably avoided, but in the long-term, need discipline in case they extend their harm towards others.

Be appreciative of enemies, and difficult or challenging circumstances. Without adversity, nothing appears to need improvement. Be grateful that error was revealed, so you have clear targets to work on. Not just blind forgivenesss, as a dolt repaying evil with goodness, but actually grateful and happy to learn lessons from them, and have the opportunity to teach as well. Further, have compassion, for their errors have karma built in, and wishing nothing but the best feelings of happiness for all beings, lament their punishment as if it were your own, for you are they in fact, more than you may realize.

Avoid people of poor character, who take pleasure in harmful or negative actions, and who fail to control their thoughts, words and deeds, or have few noble qualities. These lost souls have largely turned away from heavenly inflow. This shuts off access to the teachings and bars entry to the path of liberation. The abilities of a disciple can be shaped, but not their basic character. A person who has no determination to liberate themselves, therefore sees no reason to practice. Conversely, make an effort to help those who are trying to better themselves.

Avoid those whose coarse actions and attitudes cause disharmony, beyond your ability to remain in equipose. Avoid those who in talking with them diminishes your enthusiasm and devotion. Literally flee without shame from situations that provoke your attachment or aversion, if you are not yet ready to receive all that comes your way with an equal measure. Neither hold on to resentments, nor hand over the reins of your life to others.

Don't spend much time near people that are less perceptive, or easily angered, as time after time, they will feel to attack anything they don't appreciate, regardless of its value or truth. Take steps therefore, to address my loneliness, not to simply remain out of laziness, taking in punishment. I cannot easily reject their bad words and emotional slights, and they may lack the awareness and consideration to treat me kindly.

Don't associate with those who have interest in bad thing or states, or who act foolishly. Fools are confused by causes and their effects, and get into dilemmas easily and frequently. They may be inordinately stingy with decent, frugal, poor people but may be lavishly generous with drinkers and other non-virtuous characters.

Bad people may be especially harmful toward peaceful, good people. Usually it is pointless to harm good people of gentle disposition who never abuse others. Yet malicious people have strong negative karma that induces them to single out positive-energy souls for persecution.

Being faster and more intelligent than others is a blessing and an advantage. Don't be short-tempered and hostile because of slight annoyances. Not excusing others, but look towards yourself to change anything you don't like. Faced with accusation and attack from ignorant people, may you learn patience and reserve, controlling your emotional response, And giving a kind, informative rebuttal. Your patience and generous nature will be tested liberally, in equal measure to their ignorance.

Discord may result from offerings to coarse people, because a little dispute may arise, and they will bear a grudge in their hearts, acting with negativity and harsh feeling, in equal measure to their rough nature and level of ignorance. Don't take it personally. It is more their problem and their misfortune than your own.

Trying to reform evil people just makes them upset, as they don't liking to see their failings. In this world there are some really bad people. Just do your best to stay away from them.

Don't associate with the unwise, or those holding bad intentions.
Don't fight nor argue, and don't associate with those who may choose poorly.
Know them by their word choice, intonation, lack of patience and kindness.
Don't judge others, nor form opinions about their character.
Don't gossip and form negative views of others.
Honor pledges. Make no commitments. Better still, remain in silence.
Detach from worldly, sensual pleasures.
Limit association with negative or ignorant people.
If someone acts or speaks rudely, leave.
Don't go to extremes of excessive love or unbridled hate.
Forgive and pity your enemies, and make few enemies.

CO-DEPENDENCY

Romantic Love & Relationships

Men in love show more activity in the visual part of the brain, while women in love show more activity in the part of the brain that governs memory. Biological scientists speculate that men have to size up a woman visually to see how well she may bear babies, while women have to observe and remember aspects of man's behavior to determine if he would be an adequate provider. Men and women are biologically wired to express love in different ways. Women often feel loved when talking face to face with their partner, while men often feel closer to their partners when they work, play, or talk side by side. In an experiment, strangers of the opposite sex were together for 90 minutes where they talked about intimate details of their lives, and stared into each other's eyes. Many felt a deep attraction for each other, and two couples married within six months. The longer and more deliberate a courtship, the better the prospects for a long marriage. On the other hand, people who have intense romances are more likely to divorce after a few years.

Romantic love typically lasts just over one calendar year, perhaps because the brain cannot maintain a state of romantic bliss. As romantic love dwindles, a more stable love sets in. To remain in love for a lifetime, therapists advise couples to listen actively, ask questions about feelings, and stay physically fit. Men are more likely to be flexible in their romantic choices, but when they want to marry and have kids, they become pickier about basic qualities.

If a man meets a woman in a dangerous situation, such as on a trembling bridge, he is more likely to fall in love with her than if he met her in a normal setting, such as in an office. Girls are more likely to fall in love if they are looking for adventure, craving to leave home, are lonely, displaced in a foreign country, or passing into a new stage of life. Women around the world are more likely to fall in love with partners with ambition, education, wealth, respect, status, and a sense of humor. Women also prefer distinctive cheekbones and a strong jawbone, which are linked to testosterone levels.

CO-DEPENDENCY

IGNORANT PEOPLE

BOUNDARIES, SETTING LIMITS

Be as kind and nice as you can, but take heed that you stand up for your rights, set clear boundaries with others when needed. It's easy to be misunderstood among unappreciative people, and to be taken advantage of by those of crude nature. Identify them by their speech and actions, and take care to avoid them.

Don't be a victim, or pushover. Set strong limits and boundaries, and enforce them.

There is a basic lesson about the victimization mentality, and the high cost of being passively accepting. Have some limits, and defend them, insisting on independence and leadership. You earn the respect of your associates with will-power. Have some balls and stand up for yourself, what you want, and need.

I must learn to deal with stress and difficulties better. currently, as I tend to over-react, get too emotionally involved, take things personally, feel down and not want to work. I need better coping mechanisms and ways to let off energy and repair myself.

Don’t ever build or offer to make anything for anyone. Although my intention is good, they may react negatively for many reasons, even agreeing in the first place only thinking that I want to do something, and they are actually agreeing only to please me, or save face. Who wouldn’t want something for free, but then they may complain later, and I feel terrible, so stupid, an excellent lesson for me. I spend both time and money, hiring workers, with onlookers mocking me as a fool at every turn, a terrible choice. Only build or make anything for myself, and if asked by others, just say no. If friends of theirs, or onlookers gather, stop work the following day. Ask all workers that we have no visitors dropping by, or hanging around.

Be more aware. The first time a person insults or hurts your feelings, simply get away from them. Do not try to talk or argue further, just get away even if they literally are insulting your back or calling you names as you leave. You cannot reach them, as they are full of their selves, and likely closed to incoming communication. Any further comment or interaction is just likely to make things worse.

Some coarse individuals are thoroughly evil and cannot be overcome peacefully. They can, however, be constrained with a wrathful approach thoroughly grounded in spiritual and worldly affairs, motivated by great love and compassion. Virulent afflictions must be surgically removed; treating them delicately simply renders them more agitated, so just stay away from them if possible, but if engaged necessarily, act forcefully in a way that they can respond to constructively.

Be strong and masculine, not weak and cowardly. If needed to defend, don't back away from a fight. Stand up for yourself, and others if you are able. Learn martial arts and strengthen your body. Practice restraint and self-control certainly, but also practice to be able to defend yourself and others when it's needed. Wear clean, presentable clothing, and maintain a masculine style and presentation, warding off attackers just from your stable appearance.

If they attack, then do battle as best you can, remembering that their karma will settle the score beyond your involvement, and try to keep the encounter brief. They may be ignorant, engage in wrongdoing, act inconsiderately, and have little sense of shame or conscience. Therefore, attempts to reform bad people may exacerbate their baseness, One can never satisfy evil people, even by helping them in a hundred, excellent ways. They may become hostile when someone serves them kindly, or tries pointing out their behavior. Their attitude is malevolent and they are never pleased.

SOCIAL SKILLS

As an intelligent and sensitive person sometimes scattered in presentation, not observing common customs, and not very much being aware of others feelings or their capacity, I may easily overwhelm or annoy others, or alternatively, myself feel insulted or taken advantage of. Pay more attention to personal presentation, and how others may perceive me. Nobody lives in a vacuum, so I must present myself in both speech and behavior in a more polished, recognizable, understandable, non-threatening way, tailored to whomever I am speaking to or are around.

If there is more than one person, do not try to speak Thai, as it's likely they will react childishly that I am so funny-sounding, and speak and laugh amongst themselves, which offends me. In fact, I do sound funny with all my pronounciation, vocabulary, and grammar errors, and it overwhelms anything I'm trying to say. Speak English, and use the opportunity for them to experience, resorting to the phone for pictures or translation, press the little speaker icon. Also, can speak into the microphone rather than typing.

Be prepared for others to be rude, as they have varying perspectives or interpretations, and may get angry, attack, insult, hang up the phone, or even walk away. Don’t take it so personally. Some people just won’t want to bother with my poor Thai language skills, and there’s no rule that people must be polite. In fact, there are many lazy, ignorant, uncaring, selfish people in the world. Don’t call people on the phone, struggling to speak in Thai. Their reactions may disappoint you. You will not be able to reach nor educate many people, and getting frustrated about them is unkind. Rather, learn to feel compassion for their limitations, as you aren’t perfect either.

Some people are rude. Don’t be one of them.
People may come across as abrasive and offensive
Study Etiquette
Bring some grace to your daily interactions
Emotional IQ
Picking up on cues and tone
Respond Appropriately in different situations

Making Friends Carefully
Being a Good Friend

Dating Manners
Dating Skills
Relationships

Family Boundaries, Caretaking
Social Awareness
Choose good people to surround yourself with.
You are the average of your friends

Communication, verbal & writing
Time Planning

The Art of Conversation
Character analysis
Practice Negotiation

FACE, RESPECT, HONOR

BAD ASSOCIATION

Be in control or selection of those who may come around, as you are subject to their judgements, words, and actions. Better to exercise intial selection and establish boundaries, rather than imagine that later, you may discipline their thoughts, words, and actions. Often, the damage is done, and it's hard to educate others. At least make an attempt to control association, buying land in a remote setting, and building a small building, with thick walls and glass, screens, a good buffer of land on all sides, or choose to rent or wander. Don't visit or live in a dangerous area, or among unkind people. Don't associate with criminals planning bad-intentioned actions. Don't reside with military personnel. Don't watch a fight or military activities, or be part of an army departing for combat.

Avoid places of diversion and distraction. Avoid people engaged in an argument or dispute. Avoid the entanglements of mundane business. Avoid undisciplined crowds, and the distracted nature of many minds, engaged in idle conversation. Avoid engaging in many projects and activities. Avoid committing negative actions, or resting in inaction, unless cultivating a trance state.

Neighbors can easily play loud music, with too much bass, or there may be barking dogs, or people may get drunk and sing karaoke or talk loudly. Also chickens, other noises, or neighbors that get upset about something that you may not notice, or consider trivial. Same with the gossip of small-minded people. It may not occur to them that different cultures may have varying rituals.

Don't let associations rule your judgement. In your choice of associates then, do not allow their blindness to turn off your sight. Do not argue with them, don't you see that they don't see? Lead by example, less and less speaking, and stay focused on the goal. Stop trying to explain yourself, as they cannot hear you in any case.

Avoid associations that cause distraction and frustration, such as attempts to win over others' minds, and convince them of varying reasoning or insights. These developments may have taken you years to arrive at, and others may not share your experiences nor conclusions. Words and ideas aren't going to equal nor replace the variety of experiences that helped you to form your understanding. In your eagerness to share and communicate, you may do yourself and your audience a disservice.

PARTNERSHIP

It is a choice to partner. All people offer their strengths and are limited by their weaknesses. Benefits may be enjoyed, and drawbacks may be encountered. Not just with women, so take care to acknowledge the effects of any associations made. People value varied things, so choose those who are seeking along the same path that I pursue, in order that we may align our energies, and support each other

There exists difficulty in association, which may disturb tranquility. Such is the risk of a fixed place, or purchasing property, in that people nearby may cause disturbances, or set themselves against, creating a prison of suffering and limitation, rather than freedom and independence. Risky choice, in seeking to find comfort and serenity.

Abandon close association with objects prone to generate violence or separation. Beware laziness, and cultivate conscious attention. Whenever we associate with people holding wrong views, it may increase negative activities in our mind. When sexual urges arise, that is precisely the time and opportunity to utilize the energy in practice. There is a limited store of energy available in the day, and it is up to each of us to make use of it as best we see fit and understand. Develop conscience, becoming aware of correct action.

Every action, every word, every thought, establishes a relationship with the environment. Estrangement from nature is not possible, only ignorance of the connection and relationship. Even one’s subtlest thoughts and intentions, whether positive or negative, are held to elicit a response from the animating forces, encompassing all that is, within the landscape and beyond. Bad thoughts and selfish concerns can cause rockfalls and hail. Well-intentioned, directed prayers, on the other hand, can literally stop the rain. A constant interchange occurs, giving rise to what Tibetans call tukje, Great Compassion, or empathy with all things.

Padmasambhava advised that adverse conditions are a practitioner’s true wealth, a golden opportunity for advancement in letting go of both obscurations and attachments. Not just as testing, but valuable challenges through which to grow deeper in understanding and realization of the ephemeral, as compared with the root nature, which is unruffled both by fortunate as well as unfortunate circumstance.

Easier to build and work in the cold, rather than the heat. Don't fear the cold winters in the mountains. It is exactly the difficulties and elevation, isolation, that keep the areas free from over-development, and attract a certain nature-loving populace.

Tantric Sex, Intimacy, Kundalini

Be aware that your body has a limited amount of energy to give, and if you use up energy in sexual fulfillment, it will no longer be available for other use. Apart from the useful, directed resourceful nature of vajra practice, it is your choice in which direction you will use your time and focus, and the energies that have been given to you. Some monks visualize the aging, decay, and death of even the most attractive, most seductive young girls, and thus gain back control if they feel they are moving in a direction counter to their choice of use of time and energy.

Conserve the sexual energy, and don't emit sperm, in order that it may be transmuted into accelerating the the fire of advancement. Limit sexual intercourse to those moments and interactions that are tantra yoga, and don't be careless with the dissemination of emotional attraction. Sexual pleasures are a dangerous sword, able to be handled and used safely only by realized masters. Common errors will result through thinking that there is no danger. Conserve the elemental energy growing within your apparent physical form by limiting touch to those who are your superior, if they choose it.

A sexual consort and love‐goddess, the hidden power Kundalini. Su Nü teaches the Jade Chamber's Secrets. Tantric union, like long-sitting and singing, may open the energies within the body. Tantra, sexual energy. Release, transformation, sexual relationships, stress, love, children, marriage.

direct Tantra instructions sexual energy transmuted Divine is present at all moments, we just continually miss the opportunity given due to an incorrect focus on mundane aspects.

Even in intercourse with a woman, there must be other factors present, such as awareness, concentration and understanding, in order to experience the tantra. You cannot have intercourse constantly with a woman, unequal to the recurrent need to be attentive to her. Rare as a wish-fulfilling gem is the student who understands cause and effect, and works tirelessly to improve themselves, studying and parcticing.

And in the Tibetan, sexual reference is woven deeply into vajra teachings. It is naive to imagine that they were fools, disguising sex rituals and gay inclination as their highest teachings. Much more likely that esoteric and rightly secret rituals would be too obscure for the unenlightened masses to recognize as valid, thus dismissing them. Even for myself, the blatant sexual references are hard to digest, and it is easy to dismiss both tantra and vajra according to popular prejudices against sexuality and homophobia. Obvious why the teachings migrated to visualizations, rather than tantra with one or more actual young female consorts. Much less eating the body of the master, or absorbing the secret vajra essence orally or otherwise internally, despite the rare teachings advising exactly that. Not to be confused with harming or abusive rituals for selfish gain.

Similarly, you spend your vajra essence daily, in a joyful lust for sexual release, but having invested thusly, you expend that which perhaps you need most, to motivate and innervate, like an unfulfilled stallion, shining coat and eager muscles bound by sensual desire. The goal as stated in many brilliant teachings is to harness that raw sexual power, and transform it into the current of achievements in whichever area you focus yourself. Choose wisely, for the body is like a complex machine, and there are physical limits to maintain. As young shamans were observed to select frequent masturbators, the wise people going into trance states to contact higher powers recognized the relationship between sexual energy and desire and the energetic states required for astral travel, and spiritual development. Indeed, in many religious orders, celibacy was prized as the raw material with which to operate.

Too much chatting is boring, at least to me. invite people to call, and if cannot hold an interesting conversation, excuse myself, and not continue. be aware that if invite people over, have a set activity that they are there for, with an ending time, like meeting at the gym to exercise, or seeing people at yoga class, or meeting at the track to run or use the exercise machines, or when I chatted with girls at the park in hcm. not so good to chat online. only girls in my city, and only to invite out.

Study and copy PUA, dress better, practice talking to strangers, increase EQ, win friends and influence people.

Strong, silent, tall, dark, handsome, rich, debonair, passionate . . . it’s the James Bond/Dark Triad thing once again under all of that Grey. He's the ultimate romance hero, minus the vampiric abilities. That is, he's a Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold who is just Misunderstood deep down inside, and who just needs a wonderful woman in his life to coax him into blissful matrimony.

But it's the Bad Boy part that sells. Feminists don't want to admit that Rich is sexy. Handsome is sexy. Dominant is sexy. Power is sexy. Masculine strength is sexy. Men who don't cater to the whims of women are sexy. If you take the hero Grey and make him an affable and sensitive billionaire who just cares so darn much about the heroine that he does everything she says, everyone can see the coming high-profile divorce.

By feeding the body unwholesome food, you earn the results of that action. not expecting satisfaction and fulfillment from mundane pursuits, all boring after satiation, even seeking companionship and sexual excitement and release.

Touch (appropriately) early, touch often. If you’re just a “talking head” to her, you’ve neutralized your chances. Remember, attraction is emotional. Touching creates an emotional response. If you’re not confident with social touch, check out the Beyond Words Home Study Course or Volume 2 of the Routines Manual with lots of physical escalation routines, i.e. ‘excuses’ to start and escalate the touching.

Only initiate and continue contact with people that you are attracted to and interested in. This is your right, to associate freely with only those whom you feel to. Also, many people do not understand nor appreciate that you don’t enjoy online contacts or spending precious time chatting with them. They may misinterpret your choice to only meet people face-to-face as pushy, or alternatively, as a brush-off and take it personally, feeling insulted.

Some girls are needy or emotionally variable, and although they may be young or attractive and sexually appealing, in the long run, they may spend energy and be a drain on both resources as well as happiness.

Screen carefully before bringing anyone to my room, can meet outside, spending time together. Watch out for pushy, intolerant, unsupportive aggressive girls. They would be better matched with submissive men, and will argue and complain too often, themselves being unsatisfied, insistent on not obeying nor creating harmony by cooperation and empathy. As a dominant man, I would find a better match in a submissive girl, although not so pliable as to be directed by random guys.

Eyes-feet reflex. When you see an interesting girl, walk toward her with a small smile. Right away. in fact, 98% of the time, you may lose the opportunity or miss her emotional peak by waiting too long.

Come in with an energy level at, or slightly higher than, hers. Anything else will not raise her interest. It’s not a job interview. Asking her tons of questions doesn’t perk the conversation, it makes her do too much work, tells her nothing about you, and reminds her of other guys who had nothing to say. Use statements and guesses wherever possible, and don’t ask two questions in a row.

Have an agenda, sonething specific to say, like on a sports call-in show I used to listen to, You approached her. You’re going to be responsible for 90% of the conversation for the first few minutes. Have fun. Emotions are contagious. If you treat it like a job, the odds will be against you. Go places where you have fun. Go with people you have fun with. One of my old haunts had an old-school pinball machine. If I got knocked out of state, a quick beer and a game of pinball and I was right back there.

Everything is ALWAYS going exactly as planned. Some other guy won’t leave her alone? Bar closing early? Her friend being a cockblock? Act like you’ve seen it all before and it’s to be expected. Handle what needs to be handled, but don’t be flustered or thrown off.

Physical contact is best maximized - getting your skin contacting as much of her skin as possible. This makes the sex much more personal, and much less clinical, and increases the release of pleasure & bonding hormones. You need both clitoral and vaginal stimulation. What I was reading was that women wished more men would stimulate their clitoris during sex.

Penetrative sex is REAL sex. Just like she's not really your girlfriend if you're not having sex with her, it's not really sex if your penis isn't in her. Women know this, and while they enjoy men who give them orgasms with other parts of their bodies - tongues, fingers, hands, sex toys - these men aren't real men the way men who make women cum with their penises are.

Rhythm is non-negotiable. I discovered an emphasis on rhythm that seemed largely devoid from much of the lighter, mainstream sex advice. Rhythm was why women found men who danced well sexy, and suspected they'd be good in bed. It was also why once a girl went black she didn't go back. Black men had rhythm, while white men on average did not. I further learned that women enter a trance-like state during good, rhythmic sex, that is necessary for and precedes orgasm. The men shifting around and thrusting arrhythmically prevent women from ever entering this trance, and thus prevent them from ever climaxing, too.

Dominance is mandatory. Women want to be taken, not asked. I learned that asking her, 'Is this okay?' or, 'Was that good for you?' are big no-nos. You can tell her what to do and move her around dominantly and self-assuredly. There were other things I found that were useful and important, like using your voice during sex.

The more signs of the following characteristics you demonstrate while being with a woman, the less attractive you become in her eyes. These characteristics only work for women. This includes nervousness, shame, being intimidated, being vulnerable, being indirect, being overly emotional, youthful, scared, anxious, irresponsible, or physically weak. If a man has any of these traits, it advertises to a woman that you are not a man she could fully rely on. One exception is being emotional. As long as the emotions you express are not weak emotions, it does not have to be feminine. So emotions of happiness, gratefulness, or love, can still be expressed without losing your masculinity.

When emotion is high, logic is low. Never allow a girl, or any situation for that matter, to rattle you. The hallmark of greatness in a captain is cool and certainty in crisis. You can count on his stability like a rock. Like in that submarine movie, even when is he is unsure, he selects a course of action and carries through on it to the best of his ability, meeting challenges moment by moment to the limit of life itself. Others are amazed and inspired by his tenacity and resourcefulness under fire.

Don’t give up, keep the body and face looking good, even though aging. Truly enjoy each passing day, and the seasons. This is your life. Take care to stay far away from 'the maddening crowd,'ie those people with obvious and severe limitation, likely to attack and belittle out of jealousy and their own inadequacy. Be kind and friendly at all times, not appearing so divergent, because people generally will respond at whatever level they understand, and whatever they see. Speak slowly and in a pleasant, deep tone of voice. And like Cajun says in 'Beyond Words,' move slowly, like you are under water.

realize that you are attractive, for there are many measures of value and attraction is largely in the eye of the beholder. You bring several rare and amazing talents that are highly sought after. For the right young woman, a caring nature, high intelligence, emotional sensitivity, focus of attention, massage and singing, hardworking nature, lack of womanizing, gambling, lying, and drinking, will seem very attractive. Focus on emphasizing good qualities, and don’t diminish confidence, coming across like a beggar. If you choose a girl, treat her well, be kind, loving, and generous. It is perfectly possible to meet and succeed with a girl that you feel attracted to. There may be a question of not choosing association in fact, preferring to be alone to focus more intensely, and avoid disagreements, seeking profound states of awareness, study, and practice.

Power is what it’s all about. It isn’t about looks, or youth, or anything else, unless you use these qualities in a way that makes you more powerful, or if you’re head-to-head against another guy who’s just as powerful as you, but one of you is more handsome or more in his prime. But that latter scenario almost never happens; power is almost never a draw. Any time you go up against another guy, one of you will come out on top of the other. The guy who wins will be more attractive to her, regardless how his other characteristics stack up.

ARGUMENT

Sometimes two people are at loggerheads. It doesn’t take much to change this. All it needs is for one or the other to say they are sorry. The hurt has been done, but how people continue to perceive each other afterwards is the real problem. This often causes more hurt than the original events themselves.

For there is no argument, nor is any possible, only ignorance, for there is no duality, no position to take, nothing to discuss nor argue about, no-one arguing, and no-one to argue against. Only a fool argues with themself. Divided internally, unable to see clearly, nor reason correctly, you are in fact your opponent, and all seemingly diverse positions and objects are in fact inseperable and one. Two fools swimming against the current, not noticing they are one being, separate only to the limits of human perception and understanding.

Rather than settling conflicts through confrontation, opposition, and argument, use skill to assist the divided parties find a common solution, or at worst appreciate the merits of the each party's viewpoint. Consider their limitations, reputation, and investment in winning the dispute. Listen calmly to each viewpoint, disinterested whether it accords with your own, and allow people time to clarify and expound what they believe, for everyone is correct, at least in their own mind. Don't contest a decision later, after having given one's agreement, and don't agitate in order to re-open a closed issue.

Not saying 'I know,' or 'it is,' but only I think or I feel, I want, I need, I can or I cannot. Don't stick too firmly to your own position, and discount others' positions, for this is the way towards argument. Rather, take all possible viewpoints into account, and value other opinions, seeking experiments and factual evidence that will indicate the truth in one direction or another. Use all minds present to arrive at a reasoned solution. In fact, the master is able to solve difficult disputes, seeing the one truth revealed by all of the opponents in a disagreement.

It's okay to be upset at someone, but if you don't fight fair, the relationship will quickly break down. Make the relationship your priority, not winning the argument. Be respectful of your partner's viewpoint. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the present to solve the problem. Conflicts can be draining, so consider whether the issue is really worth all that time and energy you're putting in. Be willing to forgive, and realize that resolving conflict is pretty much impossible if you're simply unwilling or unable to forgive. If that's the case, know when to let something go, and agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going, and while you can't control anger directly, you sure can control how you respond to it. Set clear boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate, and stick to your limits.

Argument
1. stimulus
2. fixed-perspective emotional response, from self & ego
3. illogical, attacking, blaming
4. anger, bitterness
5. potential violence

Disagreement & Discussion
1. stimulus
2. considered response, tolerance, patience
3. mututal respect, consideration, compassion
4. investigation into causes, considering all available information and perspectives, viewpoints
5. explanation, training, expertise, experience, aptitude, wisdom
6. negotiation, compromise
7. solution

Don't argue with people, don't be drawn into argument, and don't participate in disputes, unles shelping the sides see each other's views. For, if people are so removed from the correct understanding of mind as to woodenly stick to their viewpoints, or be unable to reason well, or assimilate information, a great effort will be required to reach them, with emotional disturbance felt along the way.

Don't persist in trying to educate others if they will not listen, or if they are not yet ready to hear. Don't associate with those who speak untruths, act unkindly, or harbor bad intentions. Don't set others apart in order to make them feel uncomfortable, so as to cause them to leave. If it is your responsibility to keep order, ask them directly, don't speak shyly.

Nuero-linguistic Programming (NLP)

KEYS to LANGUAGE

1. One particular word, repeated again and again, but with multiple meanings in different contexts. All multiple meanings of the same word in different contexts. Every time we speak, even without knowing, all definitions in every context are transmitted. Speaking in multiple meanings, then, is a sign.

Words that sound the same, but are spelled differently, and have different meanings. Is that good enough? Does that count? Yes, because the derivation of spoken language is oral, thus spelling is immaterial, irrelevant, beside the point, which point? The point you are trying to make. That which you want to express or say, from your viewpoint of that which you understand.

Words are sacred, creation energy. Watch what you say most carefully, and let your word be your bond, meaning every word, not speaking lightly, nor speaking untruths. Keep your distance from speakers of nonsense, or worse, silly fools speaking curses or destructive words, and lastly, be far from evil-minded and evil-intentioned people, both in separation and distance, as well as not being like them.

The masters have wonderful powers, such as whatever they speak comes true, stemming equally from their power over energy flows and connection to truth as much as an ability to see the future. In fact, masters may manifest reality according to their inspiration (to be inspired by something, but also 'breathing it in').

Call the name and it is unfolded, speak the word truly, and only the word given, and it is true. The words themselves have power, and by speaking every word truly with pure intent and good purpose, your power is increased. Speak a wrong word, and sickness and death will soon follow, for the price of sin is death, for I am the measure, the standard, the rule and the law. I have given you the gift of prophecy and the ability to speak my word. Wear the gift well and publicly, my child, for it is an honor and a blessing.

Language is a key, words individually are keys.

Call the name, speak the word, for every turn and change is marked with signs along the way, if you would but put in the time and effort required to learn how to read and see. It is an honor to be called, and to be called honorable, and treat 'the word' with honor and respect.

As a book, then, a slim volume of my word, uncorrupted, and unedited, flowing as a river uninterrupted from the fountain and source of being. With a hard back or softback, even a paperback, but do the work required, and let my word be opened for your efforts. Not a rehashing of works of old, but written fresh, written anew, through yourself, from the all that is. Drink deeply, for your time is short in a referent system that they can read and understand. Not too flowery, as it suits you, but within the limits of readability for others. Do not entertain yourself with the work, although I accept your limitation and need for a break of serious transmission from time to time. Perhaps edit out your playfulness on a further draft.

Tips are in the words themselves, many minds deriving meaning through time. Teachings are built into the language, accessible to the wise. By simply listing the terms of selected disciplines, and their definitions, the hidden meanings may leap forward, if you have the ears to hear and eyes to see. To communicate the lessons learned beyond sensation and rational mind, language won't help, being based on division of meaning. Better that the student, having gained sufficient realization to recognize valid teaching, should perform exercises designed to free them from the limitation of the rational mind and language.

Natural language not only solidifies (codifies) the differentiation of objects, but the very act of naming and linear streams of verbal communication diminishes the whole into segmented parts, the very opposite of what we seek. Not to remain in silent, in motionless satori all the time, however, for why differentiate into a body for a lifetime. Secondarily, the subtle aspects of words and their meanings reveals the programming and ulterior motives of control structures.

Positive, helpful, kind, good. There's no argument, there's no discussion, for the seemingly opposing viewpoints are at issue. To ask why is to not know, to not be, beacause any thing apart is not that thing. True words spoken, both that there is no error and wisdom to see, but also the magic of speaking words, as long the words accord with truth, love, goodness.

TRAPPED INTO TEMPORARY ASSOCIATION

Take care not to be trapped in a limited space with untested, unknown strangers, as their perspective may differ radically, and their unsolicited feedback, or outright argument, may be detrimental to peace of mind. Recall the biterness in India, driving with a vindictive man, sharing the journey from the airport to Dharamshala.