| GanjaFarm.net |
Study character, to differentiate good qualities and bad, in order to see the differences between people. Surround yourself with good company, as energy is readily communicated, and the atmosphere in which you participate is part of yourself. Everyone and everything is a teacher, if you are able to see and hear.
Pay attention to the signs that follow good company. Associate with those who knowingly seek out goodness and intelligently avoid suffering and pain. They have love for everyone. Decent people never forget the kindness others extend, and are loyal.
|
Obedient Peaceful Cheerful, Friendly Thrifty Hard working Noble companions are humble Gentle, not rough Smooth, polished, not coarse Keep secrets, Trustworthy |
Loyal Brave Clean, Well-dressed Well-mannered, Courteous Generous, Helpful Kind Silent Strong Attentive |
Associate with those who have gone forward, and are stable in their achievement. Contact with them will assist you to bring out latent good qualities. Higher beings turn our minds and wills towards divine objectives, stimulating an intense longing for spiritual life.
At the time, I only half-noticed, but I could feel a special energy from the serious attitude and calm abiding shown by three Thai monks journeying. The example they set was vital and refreshing, showing the way forward. Many masters made progress individually, practicing alone in solitude. Without understanding, vision, or clear goals, boredom may overtake you. But with clarity, focus, concentration and continued awareness, time may seem short, and your days well-utilized. Keep studying, to activate awareness and understanding, not to drift around repetitively, wasting money, time, effort, and suffering estrangement in society.
For the saint, both friend and foe are one being, alive by the grace of the divine spirit, deserving and needing love and devotion as do all beings. If anything, those who live in ignorance doing harm and speaking untruths need love and kindness more than most, forgiveness being automatic no matter how desperate the crime. For even though you were given a body, it is not yours, and no being is fit to judge and bring justice except the divine will. And rest assured justice will be given, in full measure, but do not seek it, nor bear ill-will, for it is not your place.
Feelings of connection, belonging, and relationship contribute to happiness and longevity. Hypnosis, pacing, anchoring and empathy are deep ways to connect nonverbally. Using the methods of Nuero-linguistic Programming (NLP), Tony Robbins built a career addressing the widespread concerns of loneliness, and developing life-changing personal power. Don't remain alone and secluded, aloof and apart, out of a sense of dissatisfaction with the world. Work to help others, and be a light unto the world.
Good people enjoy working together in common cause, helping each other, not for themselves particularly, but for the benefit of each other and all. Count on my works reaching souls that are in need, perhaps reaching out to a like-minded girl, who feels strongly toward me because of my writings.
If you want to know who your friends are, speak the truth freely and act as you feel to naturally. Those people who stick with you are your family, and they won't act uncomfortably or ask you to leave. Ask people around you for favors and money. See what happens.
Seek out small groups of intelligent people, actively pursuing merit and value in order to achieve their goals. Information and understanding is only as good as the benefit that it is used towards. Blessed is the peace-maker, to be honored above one who merely possesses great learning. Blessed is the one who is able to see a wider view, and far ahead, as so few have the gift of sight, needed to guide the many.
My way is connected with others, enjoying the movement and transmission of energy.Take care in choosing associates at the beginning. Use comparison, interviewing, testing, and selection. To others, my strong reasoning and observation abilities may appear picky or of exacting standards. The real issue is that both sides are different, and it is my fault (not theirs), in that I didn't take the time and effort to screen myself from judgemental, more limited associates. For they are what they are, and what more can they be, but to see the world as they see it. Demanding that they be more than they are is not only foolish, but an attack on their being, naturally met with opposition in simple self-defence. Nobody likes to be insulted, or pushed beyond their limits. It's uncomfortable and wearying.
Even if you feel that you like someone, take time to determine whether that person will benefit from your association, and whether they in turn are a good influence on your own development. Friendships between people who disagree don't last long, nor are people happy among those who are too dissimilar to them in nature, behavior, or understanding.
If you want to know how much someone cares about you, just ask them for some money. Tell them your problems and what you worry about, and ask for their help.
Do not seek to be unique and superior to everyone else. We are all one being with many facets, so wish people to achieve and succeed equally, for they are yourself. Negative emotions will repeatedly challenge your equanimity. In fact, masters of old involved themselves in harmful situations as training exercises, just to see how well they would hold up.
Some unfortuante souls may harbor hostility, avoidance, or boredom and sleep reactions that are unrelated to yourself. They may carry these pent-up frustrations around with them, looking for an outlet. Do not oppose people, even if well-intentioned, as they may react poorly, being unready at that time to assimilate anything new or extra. People may feel quite full with what is already on their plate.
Be skillful in addressing strangers, as they may respond unexpectedly, given that people come in all character types and flavors. Don’t fall into the trap of sharing overly, being chatty, or being playful absent-mindedly, which can easily offend or annoy people. They may act out unexpectedly, hurting others' feelings. Don’t correct people, or try to educate people, unless they ask respectfully, especially in a foreign language where they may just see me as a fool. If you are able to bring charm to the front and center, then be charming to them. If not, be silent or avoid the encounter.
Always try to make a good impression, and if the emotional tone sours, or the encounter leaves your feeling drained, excuse yourself and depart. Don't get involved with harmful beings, for it is not your place. As an outsider, learn to keep silent or leave. If appropriate, cause them to receive feedback, but let it be from figures or people they can understand, or lastly, as an act of nature.
Do not get angry at them, or think to teach a lesson, but rather limit association after trying multiple times. Set a limit, a boundary, that you choose according to how much disruption you feel from their well-meaning attacks. If they mean harm and you feel negative intention, though, let once be enough, and get away immediately. Practice patience and kindness, especially in the face of abuse or suffering. A master earns respect by being able to accept abuse with a smile, feeling only compassion for the attacker.
Be careful not to form new associations in an off-hand manner, necessitating conversation and interaction, involvements in their world, when actually may prefer to practice singing, study teachings, work out in the gym, study Thai, get a massage, practice yoga, or play aerobics. Make a list of time-usage, and invite new friends to join, or make friends within those activities.
Become aware whether the people you are associating with are filling you with joy and contentment, or pulling energy from you, leaving you feeling sad, disappointed, and unappreciated. Some people will be kind and generous, patient and noble, giving of themselves. Other people will be unreasonable and argumentative, hostile and abrasive, attacking without reason or merit.
Perhaps foremost is that by surrounding yourself with associations that aren't supporting your progress, you hinder your development. If they are not supportive, at least let them not detract and denigrate. You pay a price in psychic antagonism. Meaning well, they may counter challenge with defense, which is natural but still unfortunate. Many will not see, will not agree, for who would sacrifice self, and what would remain to them having done so? And not just self, but sense perception as well.
People in general are emotionally immature, and quite reactionary. If look at the immediacy with which people escalate, right into hateful speech, it doesn’t take much imagination to envision a rapid deterioration over heart-felt, emotionally charged issues, and perceived dislikes and imagined injuries.
Unlikely that insensitive, self-directed people can hear or notice themselves well. Although they may in fact be kind and good, thoughtful people, they may lack some of the basic tools for current progress, such as awareness, and concentration. Rather than repeatedly pointing out this to them, both frustrating yourself (at their repetitive lack of perceptivity) as well as them (for your light bothering them repeatedly). They may misunderstand, or interpret correction as attack or limitation, and get annoyed or defensive.
Unskillful or inattentive people can casually make destructive or cursing statements, without being very aware of what they are doing or saying. Try not to judge them so harshly, nor give them so much credit for creative powers. Just because some idiot says a curse statement or is full of harmful, wrong-saying words does not mean the universe immediately responds as if a master had spoken or delivered a spell (not that any realized master would be so careless or ill-natured to wish to deliver harm).
Criticized and attacked by bad individuals possessed by ignorance, anger, or unwillingness to obey, one must soon cut attachment to such a place or persons. Vindictive, biased people constantly try to provoke dissension and argument among others. One must always guard against being led into spiteful and unredeeming friendships. Count your losses and just get away.
- Burden of expectations, a weight upon others -There are those who may make unreasonable demands of you, expecting you to put everything aside and meet their needs, being dissatisfied no matter how hard you try or how much you give. They may criticize you for not completing tasks according to their standards, and expect you to share their opinions.
- Abusive or harmful persons -Take note of abusive behavior, and don't just let it slide. Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. Don't get angry or nervous in response. If people do things or say things you do not like, warn them to stop, and if they are insensitive or argumentative, walk or even run away if necessary. Don't remain in the situation, and don't continue to engage them nor become upset, as trouble-makers seek attention and may delight in making a scene, where they may embarrass their opponent.
Give ignorant or abusive people distance, and if in a relationship, temporary silence and space to cool down, and end the association if they are unable or unwilling to try to change. Some unfortunate people are seeking to harm others or are ignorant, seeking any emotional response for drama or to make themselves feel better and will continue to attack. they are unreasonable and may be impolite or worse, evil. Take action, and don't continue to engage them. Your time and peace of mind are valuable, and you must protect yourself from bad influences or harmful interactions.
People who do harm are not necessarily evil, as they have a complicated series of events and experience, compounded by their level of awareness and ability. They will be different and divergent from yourself, so be patient and kind to them in their ignorance and even antagonism (unto anger, hostility, deceit, conspiracy and finally violence). For they will not accept truth nor education, and in the short-term, may be reasonably avoided, but in the long-term, need discipline in case they extend their harm towards others.
Be appreciative of enemies, and difficult or challenging circumstances. Without adversity, nothing appears to need improvement. Be grateful that error was revealed, so you have clear targets to work on. Not just blind forgivenesss, as a dolt repaying evil with goodness, but actually grateful and happy to learn lessons from them, and have the opportunity to teach as well. Further, have compassion, for their errors have karma built in, and wishing nothing but the best feelings of happiness for all beings, lament their punishment as if it were your own, for you are they in fact, more than you may realize.
Avoid people of poor character, who take pleasure in harmful or negative actions, and who fail to control their thoughts, words and deeds, or have few noble qualities. These lost souls have largely turned away from heavenly inflow. This shuts off access to the teachings and bars entry to the path of liberation. The abilities of a disciple can be shaped, but not their basic character. A person who has no determination to liberate themselves, therefore sees no reason to practice. Conversely, make an effort to help those who are trying to better themselves.
Avoid those whose coarse actions and attitudes cause disharmony, beyond your ability to remain in equipose. Avoid those who in talking with them diminishes your enthusiasm and devotion. Literally flee without shame from situations that provoke your attachment or aversion, if you are not yet ready to receive all that comes your way with an equal measure. Neither hold on to resentments, nor hand over the reins of your life to others.
Don't spend much time near people that are less perceptive, or easily angered, as time after time, they will feel to attack anything they don't appreciate, regardless of its value or truth. Take steps therefore, to address my loneliness, not to simply remain out of laziness, taking in punishment. I cannot easily reject their bad words and emotional slights, and they may lack the awareness and consideration to treat me kindly.
Don't associate with those who have interest in bad thing or states, or who act foolishly. Fools are confused by causes and their effects, and get into dilemmas easily and frequently. They may be inordinately stingy with decent, frugal, poor people but may be lavishly generous with drinkers and other non-virtuous characters.
Bad people may be especially harmful toward peaceful, good people. Usually it is pointless to harm good people of gentle disposition who never abuse others. Yet malicious people have strong negative karma that induces them to single out positive-energy souls for persecution.
Being faster and more intelligent than others is a blessing and an advantage. Don't be short-tempered and hostile because of slight annoyances. Not excusing others, but look towards yourself to change anything you don't like. Faced with accusation and attack from ignorant people, may you learn patience and reserve, controlling your emotional response, And giving a kind, informative rebuttal. Your patience and generous nature will be tested liberally, in equal measure to their ignorance.
Discord may result from offerings to coarse people, because a little dispute may arise, and they will bear a grudge in their hearts, acting with negativity and harsh feeling, in equal measure to their rough nature and level of ignorance. Don't take it personally. It is more their problem and their misfortune than your own.
Trying to reform evil people just makes them upset, as they don't liking to see their failings. In this world there are some really bad people. Just do your best to stay away from them.
Don’t argue with people, and stay away from disputes and argumentative people. If someone woodenly sticks to one viewpoint, can’t reason well or take in new information, a great effort will be required to reach them, with emotional disturbance felt along the way.Be as kind and nice as you can, but take heed that you stand up for your rights, set clear boundaries with others when needed. It's easy to be misunderstood among unappreciative people, and to be taken advantage of by those of crude nature. Identify them by their speech and actions, and take care to avoid them.
Don't be a victim, or pushover. Set strong limits and boundaries, and enforce them.
There is a basic lesson about the victimization mentality, and the high cost of being passively accepting. Have some limits, and defend them, insisting on independence and leadership. You earn the respect of your associates with will-power. Have some balls and stand up for yourself, what you want, and need.
I must learn to deal with stress and difficulties better. currently, as I tend to over-react, get too emotionally involved, take things personally, feel down and not want to work. I need better coping mechanisms and ways to let off energy and repair myself.
Don’t ever build or offer to make anything for anyone. Although my intention is good, they may react negatively for many reasons, even agreeing in the first place only thinking that I want to do something, and they are actually agreeing only to please me, or save face. Who wouldn’t want something for free, but then they may complain later, and I feel terrible, so stupid, an excellent lesson for me. I spend both time and money, hiring workers, with onlookers mocking me as a fool at every turn, a terrible choice. Only build or make anything for myself, and if asked by others, just say no. If friends of theirs, or onlookers gather, stop work the following day. Ask all workers that we have no visitors dropping by, or hanging around.
Be more aware. The first time a person insults or hurts your feelings, simply get away from them. Do not try to talk or argue further, just get away even if they literally are insulting your back or calling you names as you leave. You cannot reach them, as they are full of their selves, and likely closed to incoming communication. Any further comment or interaction is just likely to make things worse.
Some coarse individuals are thoroughly evil and cannot be overcome peacefully. They can, however, be constrained with a wrathful approach thoroughly grounded in spiritual and worldly affairs, motivated by great love and compassion. Virulent afflictions must be surgically removed; treating them delicately simply renders them more agitated, so just stay away from them if possible, but if engaged necessarily, act forcefully in a way that they can respond to constructively.
Be strong and masculine, not weak and cowardly. If needed to defend, don't back away from a fight. Stand up for yourself, and others if you are able. Learn martial arts and strengthen your body. Practice restraint and self-control certainly, but also practice to be able to defend yourself and others when it's needed. Wear clean, presentable clothing, and maintain a masculine style and presentation, warding off attackers just from your stable appearance.
If they attack, then do battle as best you can, remembering that their karma will settle the score beyond your involvement, and try to keep the encounter brief. They may be ignorant, engage in wrongdoing, act inconsiderately, and have little sense of shame or conscience. Therefore, attempts to reform bad people may exacerbate their baseness, One can never satisfy evil people, even by helping them in a hundred, excellent ways. They may become hostile when someone serves them kindly, or tries pointing out their behavior. Their attitude is malevolent and they are never pleased.
As an intelligent and sensitive person sometimes scattered in presentation, not observing common customs, and not very much being aware of others feelings or their capacity, I may easily overwhelm or annoy others, or alternatively, myself feel insulted or taken advantage of. Pay more attention to personal presentation, and how others may perceive me. Nobody lives in a vacuum, so I must present myself in both speech and behavior in a more polished, recognizable, understandable, non-threatening way, tailored to whomever I am speaking to or are around.
If there is more than one person, do not try to speak Thai, as it's likely they will react childishly that I am so funny-sounding, and speak and laugh amongst themselves, which offends me. In fact, I do sound funny with all my pronounciation, vocabulary, and grammar errors, and it overwhelms anything I'm trying to say. Speak English, and use the opportunity for them to experience, resorting to the phone for pictures or translation, press the little speaker icon. Also, can speak into the microphone rather than typing.
Be prepared for others to be rude, as they have varying perspectives or interpretations, and may get angry, attack, insult, hang up the phone, or even walk away. Don’t take it so personally. Some people just won’t want to bother with my poor Thai language skills, and there’s no rule that people must be polite. In fact, there are many lazy, ignorant, uncaring, selfish people in the world. Don’t call people on the phone, struggling to speak in Thai. Their reactions may disappoint you. You will not be able to reach nor educate many people, and getting frustrated about them is unkind. Rather, learn to feel compassion for their limitations, as you aren’t perfect either.
Be in control or selection of those who may come around, as you are subject to their judgements, words, and actions. Better to exercise intial selection and establish boundaries, rather than imagine that later, you may discipline their thoughts, words, and actions. Often, the damage is done, and it's hard to educate others. At least make an attempt to control association, buying land in a remote setting, and building a small building, with thick walls and glass, screens, a good buffer of land on all sides, or choose to rent or wander. Don't visit or live in a dangerous area, or among unkind people. Don't associate with criminals planning bad-intentioned actions. Don't reside with military personnel. Don't watch a fight or military activities, or be part of an army departing for combat.
Avoid places of diversion and distraction. Avoid people engaged in an argument or dispute. Avoid the entanglements of mundane business. Avoid undisciplined crowds, and the distracted nature of many minds, engaged in idle conversation. Avoid engaging in many projects and activities. Avoid committing negative actions, or resting in inaction, unless cultivating a trance state.
I’m very sensitive to noise and sounds through the night, with acute hearing comes responsibility for protecting my sleep and securing a stable, quiet sleeping environment. Consider a mobile home, as it is impossible to control the outside world. The best you can do is choose your place. Sleeping out in the truck in Sri Chiang Mai was a great idea, dogs howling and barking every now and then even till 1am, even far away can hear clearly. If thinking was to have screening, and get fresh air, beware music even far away, as can hear the thumping bass. Certainly quieter in a building but cannot have fresh air. Perhaps could fan fresh air into the building, through a winding vent system of stone with bends in it. Plus, in the ocuntryside, there is no audience for singing, and limited kindness and mentality of some people, also in the city to be fair. Overall, build only one small room with a bathroom.
Neighbors can easily play loud music, with too much bass, or there may be barking dogs, or people may get drunk and sing karaoke or talk loudly. Also chickens, other noises, or neighbors that get upset about something that you may not notice, or consider trivial. Same with the gossip of small-minded people. It may not occur to them that different cultures may have varying rituals.
Don't let associations rule your judgement. In your choice of associates then, do not allow their blindness to turn off your sight. Do not argue with them, don't you see that they don't see? Lead by example, less and less speaking, and stay focused on the goal. Stop trying to explain yourself, as they cannot hear you in any case.
Avoid associations that cause distraction and frustration, such as attempts to win over others' minds, and convince them of varying reasoning or insights. These developments may have taken you years to arrive at, and others may not share your experiences nor conclusions. Words and ideas aren't going to equal nor replace the variety of experiences that helped you to form your understanding. In your eagerness to share and communicate, you may do yourself nd your audience a disservice.
The wise are to be found in remote places, undisturbed by the clamor of society. In Thailand, more likely in removed, mountain forests. They hide themselves, unannounced. Be quiet and unobstructing therefore, not pushing nor making a nuisance of myself if wishing to spend time near them. Given the language barrier, it's unlikely that an audience would do much good, so be content with energetic transference, and be working on silent meditation in any case. Be humble and of service, not asking anything, but rather giving kindness and friendliness.
If the goal is to quiet internal noise, then why be in a noisy place, with worldy-concerned people? One thing is like another, and the magical power generated by similar correspondences is strong. Sit on a mountain, among the trees, with the wind and animals for companions. Penetrate to the moment-by-moment perception of, and participation in, root nature.
A small monastery, with a library and a handful of monks. Quiet enough to provide near-solitude and an ideal place to live, study, and meditate. Following in the footsteps of great renunciate masters, it would be wise and opportune to make the most of this time given. The greatest hope of substantive awareness (root nature) may be pursued by going beyond the senses. The easiest way to shut the doors of the senses, allowing penetration within the mind, is to sit in darkness and silence in a quiet place, such as a cave, on a mountain, or within a deep forest, undisturbed by the concerns and occupation of others who value and pursue different paths. Thus, even if lonely at first, keep the understanding and reasoning why at the forefront, and push through the initial obstacles.
Sometimes silence and patience are tested by the master, to see how well-prepared is the student. Seclusion from those who would disturb meditative equipoise, but availability to all who are ready to leave the world behind and enter the path. The scriptures warn to not stay among worldly-minded folk too long (7 days), lest the path-holder be swayed and confused by their many errors of view.
Challenge yourself, journeying to quiet places and studying there, sitting and practicing. Don't be in such fear of being alone. Try solitude, and structure the day, using time well. Certainly, without direction or gainful occupation, time may drag, and boredom come forward. However, if working gainfully, practicing well, studying earnestly, you may find that days pass swiftly, and that you treasure your freedom and leisure.
Talk to teachers at forest temples in Thailand, and ask them who their own teachers are, and if any great teachers live at temples, near or far, that I may visit. If staying at a temple or having met a teacher several times, and managed to be quiet or make a good impression, ask for a letter of referral or introduction in Thai . Also, request blessings and teachings, energetic transmissions. Rent a guesthouse near large wats, and sit quietly, especially don't bother monks by speaking with them. Sit at a table and do sculpture, or read quietly, or just sit and meditate at a distance, toning almost silently. Look over the map of Thailand, preparing the right questions beforehand.
Expect difficulties, and don't be put off by them. The teachings instruct to leave home and family, and not attach to mundane affairs. Although lonely, especially at first, be aware that is the time-tested way to be free and unencumbered with the various obstacles naturally resulting from association. You can idealize, but nothing is perfect, and life passes quickly. To achieve independence, you must give up companionship. To gain silence, is to give up conversation and music. To concentrate, give up distraction. It will take both effort and discipline.
There may be temple ruins in Thailand that I may meditate at, sleeping in a tent, or slowly restoring a building and staying there as long as allowed. If asked to leave, be thankful that I was able to spent time there, to give of myself, meditating and restoring a building or place. For all work is good, and nothing is lost in giving.
Longchenpa - Go to mountain tops, oceanside, desert, open spaces. Vast places that make the mind waver. Not only seeking out hermits, but also living apart myself, experiencing the silence, and exploring perception and awareness first-hand. Not only seeking the one who doesn't eat, but eating less myself, seeking nourishment from more refined energy sources, such as sound, sun light, heat, and love.
The teachings say to leave home and family, and not attach to mundane affairs. Although lonely, especially at first, be aware that you are also free and unencumbered with various obstacles resulting from association. You can always idealize, but nothing is perfect. To gain independence, is to give up companionship. To gain silence, is to give up conversation and music. To concentrate, is to give up distraction. It will take both effort and renewed strength and discipline if you choose these goals.
Advanced practitioners may stay in retreat, hermitages, as they have developed powers of survival and fortitude against hunger and cold which I lack. If you dwell in a hermitage but have limited resolve, you may fall into distraction, despair, or loneliness. For myself, consider trying a week, then a month, then a rainy season, then a year, overcoming loneliness, distraction, a wandering mind, resolve, boredom. If main issue is loneliness, then practice and structure time better. If concerned for others, that’s excellent, but must balance against my own path. Don’t fall into caretaking. Every choice will have associated costs. A large vista for meditation, similar to a high mountain view. If not, consider a large river, or forest leaves in a windy place, large open fields of grass.
Go to a solitary, isolated place and meditate. The reason you are instructed to go into retreat is that if you try to practice this type of meditation in the midst of many activities, it may be difficult to generate concentration or realization. It is best if you are completely alone. Even if you have companions, see them but rarely. You should be completely independent without any contact with anyone. If that is impossible, for example, if you need someone to cook for you or bring you firewood, then under no circumstances should you see him or her during your meditation sessions. You should practice alone. Perform progressively longer retreats in darkness and silence, probing the nature of the mind and reality. A man sits and grows old, but it's not you.
Those who understand may seek quiet and solitary places in which to conquer their minds. Having abandoned all wandering thoughts, not carrying the past, unless learning lessons via review, nor being overly concerned with the future, unless making concrete plans, so as to prepare. The main practice should be to rest in the ever-present moment, working on trance, and clearing the mind of thoughts, just as we realize no division of objects, what are we thinking of? Same with speaking, who is speaking about what? The dissolution of ego, the notion of a separate self, is at the root of many teachings. An observer, a viewpoint with an agenda to accomplish.
Don't dwell on your mundane pursuits being undermined, or the fear of this happening, even though you are residing in the wilderness. Master your awareness, and remain focused, not remaining engrossed in life’s sensual pleasures and in mundane intentions.Turn your mind away from generating and protecting material fortunes. Relinquish association with the worldly, residing in the wilderness. Don't pass time in frivolous chatter, or in conversations related to a householder’s life, with anyone who happens to be around.
Shepe Dorje - Leaving home behind, seek to abandon self. As meditative experiences arise, travel joyously, without hope, doubt, or attachment as to whether or not you will succeed. Take scant concern for your personal comfort, nor for the binding fetters of monasteries or the knots of worldly existence. Don't strive for nirvana. Who is seeking what? A fool's errand. All places are joyous. Have no fear about sickness, hunger, or dying on the way. Have no regrets if you are to be reborn. A new chance to learn and sacrifice.
Certainly, and without remorse or fear, it is time to go. It is time to make your own way, to be at peace, not resting your progress heavily upon others. By eating less, and doing postures with breathing exercises, go forward, not to be seen as overly sensitive and demanding by others not yet ready to participate. At our own speeds, without recrimination or judgement, pursuing goals and actions that we each see fit. Make a list of activities and opportunities, not only to not be bored, wondering how to fill time, but to take advantage of the time given, and be satisfied with the life lived, aging and dying in any case.
As a maturity and independence exercise, learn to deal with loneliness, being satisfied with staying alone, if that is a good choice for yourself. Only by being content to be alone may we achieve the freedom and peace of mind to truly concentrate, undistracted by the limitations and interactions sought by others. Let choices be made then, that assist in finding like-minded companions, and if there be none, then be content. For example, if choosing a city for the larger numbers of companions, then don’t lament loss of space and countryside at the same time.
You cannot abandon your homeland unless you divest yourself of your concerns. Anywhere you might travel, you will be in the same state of development as you were before you had left, carrying yourself with you. In order to live in solitude, you must first eradicate your desires and fixations. Why be alone physically, when you actually are in the company of your thoughts and emotions. It is said, better to travel alone, than suffer the company of fools.
To heal physically, first practice emotional and intellectual healing.
Hermits remain in mountain fastness (keeps) for many years doing meditation, studying, practicing. They don't keep coming down to the towns and villages, seeking food and other supplies.
Limit association with the worldly, and live in the wilderness, and don't pass time in frivolous chatter, or in conversations related to a householder’s life, with anyone who happens to be around. Practice tolerating harm to yourself, and render benefits to others. Turn your mind away from pleasures, and generating and protecting wealth. What do you fear? If one clings to personal well-being there is no awakening mind. Turn the mind away from concern for one's own welfare to that of others.
Far from village and towns, a solitary hermit sits quietly, unknown and not declaring anything. Practicing focused concentration, equanimity and even-mindedness, don't discuss teachings nor debate ideas. Eat only that which is needed to fuel the body, studying great examples of achievement, following good advice given by masters, practice serenely, overcoming obstacles and ego by effort and resolve. Either individually, or in groups, seek out the quiet ones, and join in the work of purification, not for self but for all beings.
During retreat, whether your doorway is sealed or not, you must not speak, not care to look, or having looked, pay little attention to what is seen, not differentiating one object from another, not come face to face with others, or having seen their face, take no note, no have anything to say. A person nearby, unless interacting for a reason, is just another phenomenon, of which there are many. Having completely discarded the wanderings of the restless mind, expel the stale breath and correctly assume the essential elements of bodily posture. The mind should rest upon clear awareness without wavering even for the time of a finger snap, like a peg driven into solid ground. A strict outer, inner, and secret retreat will quickly give rise to both signs and qualities.
Later, as your powers of concentration and detachment grow, you may feely walk among them, for whatever reason, but as it is written, it is one thing to maintain serenity in a serene environment, but another thing entirely to maintain peace of mind and true focus surrounded by wrong-thinking and ignorance. Many a seeker has lost their way among the thorns of mundane experience, being attacked on all sides with wrong thinking and backwards views.
It is a choice to partner. All people offer their strengths and are limited by their weaknesses. Benefits may be enjoyed, and drawbacks may be encountered. Not just with women, so take care to acknowledge the effects of any associations made. People value varied things, so choose those who are seeking along the same path that I pursue, in order that we may align our energies, and support each other
There exists difficulty in association, which may disturb tranquility. Such is the risk of a fixed place, or purchasing property, in that people nearby may cause disturbances, or set themselves against, creating a prison of suffering and limitation, rather than freedom and independence. Risky choice, in seeking to find comfort and serenity.
It's very noble to not wish to abandon anyone, but watch out for caretaking, balancing the honorable desire to protect others with concern for your own wellness and thriving nature. Others may unfortunately and repeatedly bring up unpleasant experiences or perceived injuries from the past. Further, two or more people living in such close proximity are going to have many small differences and preferences that they will have to compromise or alter to be together. Careful not to overdo the togetherness.Abandon close association with objects prone to generate violence or separation. Beware laziness, and cultivate conscious attention. Whenever we associate with people holding wrong views, it may increase negative activities in our mind. When sexual urges arise, that is precisely the time and opportunity to utilize the energy in practice. There is a limited store of energy available in the day, and it is up to each of us to make use of it as best we see fit and understand. Develop conscience, becoming aware of correct action.
Every action, every word, every thought, establishes a relationship with the environment. Estrangement from nature is not possible, only ignorance of the connection and relationship. Even one’s subtlest thoughts and intentions, whether positive or negative, are held to elicit a response from the animating forces, encompassing all that is, within the landscape and beyond. Bad thoughts and selfish concerns can cause rockfalls and hail. Well-intentioned, directed prayers, on the other hand, can literally stop the rain. A constant interchange occurs, giving rise to what Tibetans call tukje, Great Compassion, or empathy with all things.
Padmasambhava advised that adverse conditions are a practitioner’s true wealth, a golden opportunity for advancement in letting go of both obscurations and attachments. Not just as testing, but valuable challenges through which to grow deeper in understanding and realization of the ephemeral, as compared with the root nature, which is unruffled both by fortunate as well as unfortunate circumstance.
Easier to build and work in the cold, rather than the heat. Don't fear the cold winters in the mountains. It is exactly the difficulties and elevation, isolation, that keep the areas free from over-development, and attract a certain nature-loving populace.
Be aware that your body has a limited amount of energy to give, and if you use up energy in sexual fulfillment, it will no longer be available for other use. Apart from the useful, directed resourceful nature of vajra practice, it is your choice in which direction you will use your time and focus, and the energies that have been given to you. Some monks visualize the aging, decay, and death of even the most attractive, most seductive young girls, and thus gain back control if they feel they are moving in a direction counter to their choice of use of time and energy.
Conserve the sexual energy, and don't emit sperm, in order that it may be transmuted into accelerating the the fire of advancement. Limit sexual intercourse to those moments and interactions that are tantra yoga, and don't be careless with the dissemination of emotional attraction. Sexual pleasures are a dangerous sword, able to be handled and used safely only by realized masters. Common errors will result through thinking that there is no danger. Conserve the elemental energy growing within your apparent physical form by limiting touch to those who are your superior, if they choose it.
A sexual consort and love‐goddess, the succouring, pious Tara is "She of the Buddha Eye' ‐ a third eye in Tibetan. Tara represents Wisdom of Yoga, Saving Mercy, and the hidden might called Kundalini. Su Nü teaches the Jade Chamber's Secrets. Tantric union, like long-sitting and singing, may open the energies within the body. Tantra, sexual energy. Release, transformation, sexual relationships, stress, love, children, marriage.
Home hair-dye, study, and cool hats, look at men's fashion online.direct Tantra instructions sexual energy transmuted Divine is present at all moments, we just continually miss the opportunity given due to an incorrect focus on mundane aspects.
Don't seek out encounters with women in a private place, tempting fate. Don't remain near the place where a man and his companion sleep together, when they are in the house. Don't unite couples, for people may have depths of karma that you are unable to ascertain. Allow them to choose their own paths.
Even in intercourse with a woman, there must be other factors present, such as awareness, concentration and understanding, in order to experience the tantra. You cannot have intercourse constantly with a woman, unequal to the recurrent need to be attentive to her. Rare as a wish-fulfilling gem is the student who understands cause and effect, and works tirelessly to improve themselves, studying and parcticing.
And in the Tibetan, sexual reference is woven deeply into vajra teachings. It is naive to imagine that they were fools, disguising sex rituals and gay inclination as their highest teachings. Much more likely that esoteric and rightly secret rituals would be too obscure for the unenlightened masses to recognize as valid, thus dismissing them. Even for myself, the blatant sexual references are hard to digest, and it is easy to dismiss both tantra and vajra according to popular prejudices against sexuality and homophobia. Obvious why the teachings migrated to visualizations, rather than tantra with one or more actual young female consorts. Much less eating the body of the master, or absorbing the secret vajra essence orally or otherwise internally, despite the rare teachings advising exactly that. Not to be confused with harming or abusive rituals for selfish gain.
Similarly, you spend your vajra essence daily, in a joyful lust for sexual release, but having invested thusly, you expend that which perhaps you need most, to motivate and innervate, like an unfulfilled stallion, shining coat and eager muscles bound by sensual desire. The goal as stated in many brilliant teachings is to harness that raw sexual power, and transform it into the current of achievements in whichever area you focus yourself. Choose wisely, for the body is like a complex machine, and there are physical limits to maintain. As young shamans were observed to select frequent masturbators, the wise people going into trance states to contact higher powers recognized the relationship between sexual energy and desire and the energetic states required for astral travel, and spiritual development. Indeed, in many religious orders, celibacy was prized as the raw material with which to operate.
Too much chatting is boring, at least to me. invite people to call, and if cannot hold an interesting conversation, excuse myself, and not continue. be aware that if invite people over, have a set activity that they are there for, with an ending time, like meeting at the gym to exercise, or seeing people at yoga class, or meeting at the track to run or use the exercise machines, or when I chatted with girls at the park in hcm. not so good to chat online. only girls in my city, and only to invite out.
Study and copy PUA, dress better, practice talking to strangers, increase EQ, win friends and influence people.
50 Shades of GreyStrong, silent, tall, dark, handsome, rich, debonair, passionate . . . it’s the James Bond/Dark Triad thing once again under all of that Grey. He's the ultimate romance hero, minus the vampiric abilities. That is, he's a Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold who is just Misunderstood deep down inside, and who just needs a wonderful woman in his life to coax him into blissful matrimony.
But it's the Bad Boy part that sells. Feminists don't want to admit that Rich is sexy. Handsome is sexy. Dominant is sexy. Power is sexy. Masculine strength is sexy. Men who don't cater to the whims of women are sexy. If you take the hero Grey and make him an affable and sensitive billionaire who just cares so darn much about the heroine that he does everything she says, everyone can see the coming high-profile divorce.
Selection of partners, red flags.By feeding the body unwholesome food, you earn the results of that action. not expecting satisfaction and fulfillment from mundane pursuits, all boring after satiation, even seeking companionship and sexual excitement and release.
Touch (appropriately) early, touch often. If you’re just a “talking head” to her, you’ve neutralized your chances. Remember, attraction is emotional. Touching creates an emotional response. If you’re not confident with social touch, check out the Beyond Words Home Study Course or Volume 2 of the Routines Manual with lots of physical escalation routines, i.e. ‘excuses’ to start and escalate the touching.
Only initiate and continue contact with people that you are attracted to and interested in. This is your right, to associate freely with only those whom you feel to. Also, many people do not understand nor appreciate that you don’t enjoy online contacts or spending precious time chatting with them. They may misinterpret your choice to only meet people face-to-face as pushy, or alternatively, as a brush-off and take it personally, feeling insulted.
Some girls are needy or emotionally variable, and although they may be young or attractive and sexually appealing, in the long run, they may spend energy and be a drain on both resources as well as happiness.
Screen carefully before bringing anyone to my room, can meet outside, spending time together. Watch out for pushy, intolerant, unsupportive aggressive girls. They would be better matched with submissive men, and will argue and complain too often, themselves being unsatisfied, insistent on not obeying nor creating harmony by cooperation and empathy. As a dominant man, I would find a better match in a submissive girl, although not so pliable as to be directed by random guys.
Eyes-feet reflex. When you see an interesting girl, walk toward her with a small smile. Right away. in fact, 98% of the time, you may lose the opportunity or miss her emotional peak by waiting too long.
Come in with an energy level at, or slightly higher than, hers. Anything else will not raise her interest. It’s not a job interview. Asking her tons of questions doesn’t perk the conversation, it makes her do too much work, tells her nothing about you, and reminds her of other guys who had nothing to say. Use statements and guesses wherever possible, and don’t ask two questions in a row.
Project your voice. Trained actor Vercetti has the last word on this, so I’ll defer to him here.Have an agenda, sonething specific to say, like on a sports call-in show I used to listen to, You approached her. You’re going to be responsible for 90% of the conversation for the first few minutes. Have fun. Emotions are contagious. If you treat it like a job, the odds will be against you. Go places where you have fun. Go with people you have fun with. One of my old haunts had an old-school pinball machine. If I got knocked out of state, a quick beer and a game of pinball and I was right back there.
Everything is ALWAYS going exactly as planned. Some other guy won’t leave her alone? Bar closing early? Her friend being a cockblock? Act like you’ve seen it all before and it’s to be expected. Handle what needs to be handled, but don’t be flustered or thrown off.
https://www.lovesystems.com/blogs/dating-advice/55070917-10-ways-how-to-attract-girlsPhysical contact is best maximized - getting your skin contacting as much of her skin as possible. This makes the sex much more personal, and much less clinical, and increases the release of pleasure & bonding hormones. You need both clitoral and vaginal stimulation. What I was reading was that women wished more men would stimulate their clitoris during sex.
Penetrative sex is REAL sex. Just like she's not really your girlfriend if you're not having sex with her, it's not really sex if your penis isn't in her. Women know this, and while they enjoy men who give them orgasms with other parts of their bodies - tongues, fingers, hands, sex toys - these men aren't real men the way men who make women cum with their penises are.
Rhythm is non-negotiable. I discovered an emphasis on rhythm that seemed largely devoid from much of the lighter, mainstream sex advice. Rhythm was why women found men who danced well sexy, and suspected they'd be good in bed. It was also why once a girl went black she didn't go back. Black men had rhythm, while white men on average did not. I further learned that women enter a trance-like state during good, rhythmic sex, that is necessary for and precedes orgasm. The men shifting around and thrusting arrhythmically prevent women from ever entering this trance, and thus prevent them from ever climaxing, too.
Dominance is mandatory. Women want to be taken, not asked. I learned that asking her, 'Is this okay?' or, 'Was that good for you?' are big no-nos. You can tell her what to do and move her around dominantly and self-assuredly. There were other things I found that were useful and important, like using your voice during sex.
The more signs of the following characteristics you demonstrate while being with a woman, the less attractive you become in her eyes. These characteristics only work for women. This includes nervousness, shame, being intimidated, being vulnerable, being indirect, being overly emotional, youthful, scared, anxious, irresponsible, or physically weak. If a man has any of these traits, it advertises to a woman that you are not a man she could fully rely on. One exception is being emotional. As long as the emotions you express are not weak emotions, it does not have to be feminine. So emotions of happiness, gratefulness, or love, can still be expressed without losing your masculinity.
When emotion is high, logic is low. Never allow a girl, or any situation for that matter, to rattle you. The hallmark of greatness in a captain is cool and certainty in crisis. You can count on his stability like a rock. Like in that submarine movie, even when is he is unsure, he selects a course of action and carries through on it to the best of his ability, meeting challenges moment by moment to the limit of life itself. Others are amazed and inspired by his tenacity and resourcefulness under fire.
Don’t give up, keep the body and face looking good, even though aging. Truly enjoy each passing day, and the seasons. This is your life. Take care to stay far away from 'the maddening crowd,'ie those people with obvious and severe limitation, likely to attack and belittle out of jealousy and their own inadequacy. Be kind and friendly at all times, not appearing so divergent, because people generally will respond at whatever level they understand, and whatever they see. Speak slowly and in a pleasant, deep tone of voice. And like Cajun says in 'Beyond Words,' move slowly, like you are under water.
Women take major cues off your shoes and your hair. Luckily, these are easy games to play. Shoes should be clean and stylish. Hair cut in an interesting style. Both hair and clothing should be fashionable.realize that you are attractive, for there are many measures of value and attraction is largely in the eye of the beholder. You bring several rare and amazing talents that are highly sought after. For the right young woman, a caring nature, high intelligence, emotional sensitivity, focus of attention, massage and singing, hardworking nature, lack of womanizing, gambling, lying, and drinking, will seem very attractive. Focus on emphasizing good qualities, and don’t diminish confidence, coming across like a beggar. If you choose a girl, treat her well, be kind, loving, and generous. It is perfectly possible to meet and succeed with a girl that you feel attracted to. There may be a question of not choosing association in fact, preferring to be alone to focus more intensely, and avoid disagreements, seeking profound states of awareness, study, and practice.
Power is what it’s all about. It isn’t about looks, or youth, or anything else, unless you use these qualities in a way that makes you more powerful, or if you’re head-to-head against another guy who’s just as powerful as you, but one of you is more handsome or more in his prime. But that latter scenario almost never happens; power is almost never a draw. Any time you go up against another guy, one of you will come out on top of the other. The guy who wins will be more attractive to her, regardless how his other characteristics stack up.
challenging behavior, testingSometimes two people are at loggerheads. It doesn’t take much to change this. All it needs is for one or the other to say they are sorry. The hurt has been done, but how people continue to perceive each other afterwards is the real problem. This often causes more hurt than the original events themselves.
For there is no argument, nor is any possible, only ignorance, for there is no duality, no position to take, nothing to discuss nor argue about, no-one arguing, and no-one to argue against. Only a fool argues with themself. Divided internally, unable to see clearly, nor reason correctly, you are in fact your opponent, and all seemingly diverse positions and objects are in fact inseperable and one. Two fools swimming against the current, not noticing they are one being, separate only to the limits of human perception and understanding.
Rather than settling conflicts through confrontation, opposition, and argument, use skill to assist the divided parties find a common solution, or at worst appreciate the merits of the each party's viewpoint. Consider their limitations, reputation, and investment in winning the dispute. Listen calmly to each viewpoint, disinterested whether it accords with your own, and allow people time to clarify and expound what they believe, for everyone is correct, at least in their own mind. Don't contest a decision later, after having given one's agreement, and don't agitate in order to re-open a closed issue.
Not saying 'I know,' or 'it is,' but only I think or I feel, I want, I need, I can or I cannot. Don't stick too firmly to your own position, and discount others' positions, for this is the way towards argument. Rather, take all possible viewpoints into account, and value other opinions, seeking experiments and factual evidence that will indicate the truth in one direction or another. Use all minds present to arrive at a reasoned solution. In fact, the master is able to solve difficult disputes, seeing the one truth revealed by all of the opponents in a disagreement.
Don't argue with people, don't be drawn into argument, and don't participate in disputes, unles shelping the sides see each other's views. For, if people are so removed from the correct understanding of mind as to woodenly stick to their viewpoints, or be unable to reason well, or assimilate information, a great effort will be required to reach them, with emotional disturbance felt along the way.
Don't persist in trying to educate others if they will not listen, or if they are not yet ready to hear. Don't associate with those who speak untruths, act unkindly, or harbor bad intentions. Don't set others apart in order to make them feel uncomfortable, so as to cause them to leave. If it is your responsibility to keep order, ask them directly, don't speak shyly.
Be eager to apologize, and admit error if you know you are wrong, and even if you think you are right, be mindful of other people's viewpoints and concerns. Express yourself politely, and with reserved charm and good manners, for what seems so certain today may transform substantially by tomorrow. Not so much concerned with self, and winning or even competing, but rather conducting yourself at all times with goodness and good cheer, and good manners. If necessary, saying no, or setting limits, or standing up for yourself, but never rudely, and without malice, even in the face of ignorance, ill will, attempted harm, attack, robbery, threats, or actual injury. A challenge certainly, but great style and merit is the reward of achievement.
This website is not affiliated with any educational organization, and all trademarks are the exclusive property of the respective owners. Kooksta.com is the work of a group of students in Bangkok, and all copyrighted works on this website are offered for educational purposes only, governed by the four-factor rule, section 107 of the US Copyright Act, 1976.